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been feeling rather down lately. bad results really gave me a shaking up. i feel so tired inside, like even as i tried so hard for econs, i didn't score well. damn.

i have this BIG problem. ie i always do slippy-sloppy work. HAHA. and that's a big problem, cos when i'm supposed to be precise, esp since i take science, i.. don't. i settle for the average, never trying to write till it's super clear. heh. i really need to change that.

been sick too. the whole week, since the day before school started. woah. and today especially. migraine plus flu. heh. i feel super shagged and damn blur. honest. i realised that i kept looking at people and turning away before i realise who that person was! heh. it kept happening the whole week, but today, with the migraine, it got worse.

I'M NOT EMO-ING! I JUST AM TOOOOOO TIRED! =(

so... SORRRRRRRYYYYYY if i did it to you! i didn't mean it. the worse thing is that whenever i try to turn back again and smile, most of the time the person is already looking away. ARGH. that... sucks!

i'm sorry i've been avoiding you. i just dunno what to say, cos you mean so much to me. heh. i'll try to say hi the next time k? i promise. and i'll still be waiting... for YOU.

My Wish - Rascal Flatts

I hope the days come easy
And the moments pass slow
And each road leads you
Where you want to go
And if you're faced with the choice
And you have to choose
I hope you choose the one
That means the most to you
And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin' til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the
world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything,
More than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that
You want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you're out there gettin'
Where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish

I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you
And the place you left
I hope you always forgive
And you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get
Oh, you find God's grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take
But more than anything,
Yea more than anything

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

i really hope you did well this mid-years. i did pathetic. heh.

when will be the day that i get a second chance to make it right? i really wanna, but it's hard when you don't.

ouch.

deleted huh.

damn.

and there i go, shattered into a million pieces. again.

i guess that in life, you can't determine everything in it. it is not easy, and not as straight as you want it to be. you just got to learn to let go, and let God work out His perfect plan for your life. it took me a long time to trust God, and though sometimes it's hardest, especially in times of total doubt or a cloudy and bleak future ahead of you, but everything happens for a reason, and it is not mere coincidence that anything at all occurred.

i guess that by living your life as a living sacrifice to God, and focusing on Him is when you will get your reward. and that's why pastor preached about praying for your preferable future, and God will honour it if you're faithful and trust in Him for everything.

lastly, i just want you to know that i really do love you and want you to be a part of my future, and that i really did want you to honour your conviction with God. i still do, and i will do what i say i will. i'm always here.

hello hello.

had a tremendously crazy week and i'm feeling real tired now. HAHA.
came back from camp, slept at 2 plus. woke at 8 to go to jerrold's hse for tennis and fellowship. came home and swam with yw and jakeh, before heading dwn to AMK to play basketball and eat supper. cabbed home and slpt.

sat woke in morning, tuition, church, heartware bbq. left ard 12 plus and cabbed home at one. slpt.

woke on sunday, went to church, went coffee bean with jon and jakeh, went soccer at althea's place, dinner at Upp Paya Lebar with wilson, timothy and jakeh, home, update blog. HAHA.

while walking home, i asked God why. i know He has reassured me, but i just realised that i've been trying very hard with my own strength and not letting God work in His time. i guess i've made a mistake. sorry. but the Lord doesn't fail, and i know for sure that His plans for my life is a perfect will. amen.

whatever.

tired.

back!

hahaha. (:

learnt alot this camp. the speaker was so amazing, honestly, that i have actually learnt so much this camp. theme this year was "dream partnership", and Ps John Lewis touched on alot of topics that just might, or should i say, be life-changing for me. He touched on how everyone is qualified to be a minister and about our preferable future in our life, on the Moses Generation, Tarraso - to stir up, pentacostal theology and lastly, the FAT (Faithful, Attitude, Teachable) leaders. HAHA.

honestly, i learnt alot during this camp than any other. the few things that the pastor touched on that spurred me on included having desperation for the loss, and that vision is seeing the invisible. WOW. honestly, although he went very deeply into studying the text and also used rather profound terms and phrases, i learnt more than ever before. the amount of notes i took was amazing, but i still feel so hungry for more. even as the sermon lasted more than 2 hours in one of the sessions, i didnt want it to end.

Ps John didn't really do much altar calls compared to other camps that had one every service. he did it only twice, and i went once, but i had the blessing of having so many mighty men of God present. Ps Sunny from Penang, a close friend of my dad and i, also came down with his wife. when my family went for prayer, i just felt a sudden urge of tears coming down my face when Ps John was praying for sis. when it came to me, i just CRIED. i was crying like a baby, to be honest, and i've never cried like that since the 2002 youth camp.

my prophesy included becoming a worship leader someday, and that i am my own, that my dad doesn't make me, me. heh. the funny thing was that i had been suffering from this fear and also pressure of being the senior pastor's son. i mean, you might think, DUH, you'll feel pressure, but i didn't think i had that, until when pastor prayed over me. guess what was the most scary thing? i was being approached a number of times to enter the singing ministry and twice in this camp by both Jason and Jolene. and jason approached me just before i went up for prayer and i tried giving excuses. HAHA. God knows how to kick me into action. heh.

pray for me if you can, people, for humility, that i may forever stay humble and thank God for the gifts in which he provided me. this can be applied to what i learned in this camp, that fruitfulness is not a substitute of faithfulness. i want to be fruitful, not just faithful. and i need all the help i can get. thanks. ((:

Oh Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder
Consider all the works Thy hands hath made
I see the stars, I hear the roaring thunder
Thy power throughout the universe displayed

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art
then sings my soul, my saviour God to thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art

And when i think, that God his Son not sparing
Sent Him to die, i scarce can take it in
That on that cross, my burden gladly bearing
He bled and died to take away my sin

when Christ shall come with shouts of acclamation
And take me home where joy shall fill my heart
Then I shall bow in humble adoration
and there proclaim, my God, how great Thou art

certainly, how great Thou art.. Lord, when i think abt the way you changed and moulded me, and shaped me into who you want me to be, i thank You, oh Lord, although i'm certainly not perfect, OH PLEASE NOT EVEN CLOSE, bt Lord, i wouldnt have wanted it another way. this song, oh Lord, is the perfect description of what You've done in three stanzas, one chorus. HAHA. but Lord, what You have done to many is certainly more than that.. HAHA.

tho there have been many things where i don't agree or had wished for it another way, but Lord You certainly proved me wrong in life, time and time again. and that's when i've learnt to trust you. in more ways than one, though i do doubt sometimes, but i'm glad of the way you've reassured me time and time again, even though by now i shld be mature enough to trust you wholly.

Lord, let whatever you wanna do in my life change me, oh Lord, and shape my life out the way you want it. decrease me, so that You may increase Yourself in my heart. thankyou Daddy. (: for everything.

went family dinner last night. was celebrating dad's bday, which was abit more than a week ago.. ate at a chinese restaurant in shenton way. the food was great, yeap. HAHA.

on the way home, we passed the kallang area, and saw this group of small malay boys cheering and shouting and waving while their truck passed us. they had opened the door and did their performance to those waiting at the traffic light. i thought singapore did well, either drew or won their opponents, but realised when i reached home that we lost real bad.

all the talk of world cup 2010 huh. dreammmm.

heh, bt.. dreams come true. HAHA.

my dream is that tonight, i will be the happiest man on earth, hearing your voice over at the other end of the receiver. heh.

but that's my wish. a dream. a fantasy.

trust me on this one, but you really really must.

cos you mean so much, much more..

i.. miss.. you.

darren's the name
srjc
drummer
071190 - birthday.
080407 - day i was reborn.

been feeling rather down lately. bad results really gave me a shaking up. i feel so tired inside, like even as i tried so hard for econs, i didn't score well. damn.

i have this BIG problem. ie i always do slippy-sloppy work. HAHA. and that's a big problem, cos when i'm supposed to be precise, esp since i take science, i.. don't. i settle for the average, never trying to write till it's super clear. heh. i really need to change that.

been sick too. the whole week, since the day before school started. woah. and today especially. migraine plus flu. heh. i feel super shagged and damn blur. honest. i realised that i kept looking at people and turning away before i realise who that person was! heh. it kept happening the whole week, but today, with the migraine, it got worse.

I'M NOT EMO-ING! I JUST AM TOOOOOO TIRED! =(

so... SORRRRRRRYYYYYY if i did it to you! i didn't mean it. the worse thing is that whenever i try to turn back again and smile, most of the time the person is already looking away. ARGH. that... sucks!

i'm sorry i've been avoiding you. i just dunno what to say, cos you mean so much to me. heh. i'll try to say hi the next time k? i promise. and i'll still be waiting... for YOU.

My Wish - Rascal Flatts

I hope the days come easy
And the moments pass slow
And each road leads you
Where you want to go
And if you're faced with the choice
And you have to choose
I hope you choose the one
That means the most to you
And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin' til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the
world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything,
More than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that
You want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you're out there gettin'
Where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish

I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you
And the place you left
I hope you always forgive
And you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get
Oh, you find God's grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take
But more than anything,
Yea more than anything

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

i really hope you did well this mid-years. i did pathetic. heh.

when will be the day that i get a second chance to make it right? i really wanna, but it's hard when you don't.

ouch.

deleted huh.

damn.

and there i go, shattered into a million pieces. again.

i guess that in life, you can't determine everything in it. it is not easy, and not as straight as you want it to be. you just got to learn to let go, and let God work out His perfect plan for your life. it took me a long time to trust God, and though sometimes it's hardest, especially in times of total doubt or a cloudy and bleak future ahead of you, but everything happens for a reason, and it is not mere coincidence that anything at all occurred.

i guess that by living your life as a living sacrifice to God, and focusing on Him is when you will get your reward. and that's why pastor preached about praying for your preferable future, and God will honour it if you're faithful and trust in Him for everything.

lastly, i just want you to know that i really do love you and want you to be a part of my future, and that i really did want you to honour your conviction with God. i still do, and i will do what i say i will. i'm always here.

hello hello.

had a tremendously crazy week and i'm feeling real tired now. HAHA.
came back from camp, slept at 2 plus. woke at 8 to go to jerrold's hse for tennis and fellowship. came home and swam with yw and jakeh, before heading dwn to AMK to play basketball and eat supper. cabbed home and slpt.

sat woke in morning, tuition, church, heartware bbq. left ard 12 plus and cabbed home at one. slpt.

woke on sunday, went to church, went coffee bean with jon and jakeh, went soccer at althea's place, dinner at Upp Paya Lebar with wilson, timothy and jakeh, home, update blog. HAHA.

while walking home, i asked God why. i know He has reassured me, but i just realised that i've been trying very hard with my own strength and not letting God work in His time. i guess i've made a mistake. sorry. but the Lord doesn't fail, and i know for sure that His plans for my life is a perfect will. amen.

whatever.

tired.

back!

hahaha. (:

learnt alot this camp. the speaker was so amazing, honestly, that i have actually learnt so much this camp. theme this year was "dream partnership", and Ps John Lewis touched on alot of topics that just might, or should i say, be life-changing for me. He touched on how everyone is qualified to be a minister and about our preferable future in our life, on the Moses Generation, Tarraso - to stir up, pentacostal theology and lastly, the FAT (Faithful, Attitude, Teachable) leaders. HAHA.

honestly, i learnt alot during this camp than any other. the few things that the pastor touched on that spurred me on included having desperation for the loss, and that vision is seeing the invisible. WOW. honestly, although he went very deeply into studying the text and also used rather profound terms and phrases, i learnt more than ever before. the amount of notes i took was amazing, but i still feel so hungry for more. even as the sermon lasted more than 2 hours in one of the sessions, i didnt want it to end.

Ps John didn't really do much altar calls compared to other camps that had one every service. he did it only twice, and i went once, but i had the blessing of having so many mighty men of God present. Ps Sunny from Penang, a close friend of my dad and i, also came down with his wife. when my family went for prayer, i just felt a sudden urge of tears coming down my face when Ps John was praying for sis. when it came to me, i just CRIED. i was crying like a baby, to be honest, and i've never cried like that since the 2002 youth camp.

my prophesy included becoming a worship leader someday, and that i am my own, that my dad doesn't make me, me. heh. the funny thing was that i had been suffering from this fear and also pressure of being the senior pastor's son. i mean, you might think, DUH, you'll feel pressure, but i didn't think i had that, until when pastor prayed over me. guess what was the most scary thing? i was being approached a number of times to enter the singing ministry and twice in this camp by both Jason and Jolene. and jason approached me just before i went up for prayer and i tried giving excuses. HAHA. God knows how to kick me into action. heh.

pray for me if you can, people, for humility, that i may forever stay humble and thank God for the gifts in which he provided me. this can be applied to what i learned in this camp, that fruitfulness is not a substitute of faithfulness. i want to be fruitful, not just faithful. and i need all the help i can get. thanks. ((:

Oh Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder
Consider all the works Thy hands hath made
I see the stars, I hear the roaring thunder
Thy power throughout the universe displayed

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art
then sings my soul, my saviour God to thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art

And when i think, that God his Son not sparing
Sent Him to die, i scarce can take it in
That on that cross, my burden gladly bearing
He bled and died to take away my sin

when Christ shall come with shouts of acclamation
And take me home where joy shall fill my heart
Then I shall bow in humble adoration
and there proclaim, my God, how great Thou art

certainly, how great Thou art.. Lord, when i think abt the way you changed and moulded me, and shaped me into who you want me to be, i thank You, oh Lord, although i'm certainly not perfect, OH PLEASE NOT EVEN CLOSE, bt Lord, i wouldnt have wanted it another way. this song, oh Lord, is the perfect description of what You've done in three stanzas, one chorus. HAHA. but Lord, what You have done to many is certainly more than that.. HAHA.

tho there have been many things where i don't agree or had wished for it another way, but Lord You certainly proved me wrong in life, time and time again. and that's when i've learnt to trust you. in more ways than one, though i do doubt sometimes, but i'm glad of the way you've reassured me time and time again, even though by now i shld be mature enough to trust you wholly.

Lord, let whatever you wanna do in my life change me, oh Lord, and shape my life out the way you want it. decrease me, so that You may increase Yourself in my heart. thankyou Daddy. (: for everything.

went family dinner last night. was celebrating dad's bday, which was abit more than a week ago.. ate at a chinese restaurant in shenton way. the food was great, yeap. HAHA.

on the way home, we passed the kallang area, and saw this group of small malay boys cheering and shouting and waving while their truck passed us. they had opened the door and did their performance to those waiting at the traffic light. i thought singapore did well, either drew or won their opponents, but realised when i reached home that we lost real bad.

all the talk of world cup 2010 huh. dreammmm.

heh, bt.. dreams come true. HAHA.

my dream is that tonight, i will be the happiest man on earth, hearing your voice over at the other end of the receiver. heh.

but that's my wish. a dream. a fantasy.

trust me on this one, but you really really must.

cos you mean so much, much more..

i.. miss.. you.

charlotte.
jeriel.
yingwen.
joanna.
venelyn.
yiying.
domenica.
yhihhuua.
damien.
hweeyee.
clarence.
ccc.



1/6/07 - 1/7/07
1/7/07 - 1/8/07
1/8/07 - 1/9/07
1/9/07 - 1/10/07
1/10/07 - 1/11/07
1/11/07 - 1/12/07
1/12/07 - 1/1/08
1/1/08 - 1/2/08
1/2/08 - 1/3/08
1/3/08 - 1/4/08
1/4/08 - 1/5/08
1/5/08 - 1/6/08
1/6/08 - 1/7/08
1/7/08 - 1/8/08
1/8/08 - 1/9/08
1/9/08 - 1/10/08
1/10/08 - 1/11/08
1/2/09 - 1/3/09


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